breadsigh:

please friendzone me. I want to be your friend so badly

(Source: grandmabread, via fake-mermaid)

  • parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
  • clock: 11:01
  • me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

marcoslefthalf:

you dont have to agree with his policies but you have to admit hes the coolest president weve had ever

(Source: bluedogeyes, via wewtina)

safarikalamari:

For all your not-giving-a-fuck needs

(via sleeplessfanatic)

the-treble:

cheriiiiiiiiiiiiiii:

derpycats:

Willow hasn’t quite mastered the concept of a cat door yet.

she looks so lost

It has been three days. The servants have rebelled and refuse me refuge in my castle. They point and laugh and take pictures while I have been reduced to grovelling to be let in. I fear this may be my last entry.

(via wewtina)

smallnico:

look at this fucking cookie. look at it. i bought this fucking cookie at my school’s cafeteria. it is the size of my face. i bought it for 2 dollars. this cookie is supposed to inspire sharing among the students because its so fucking huge but clearly whoever thought of that little idea did not understand teenagers. this cookie is a challenge. nobody shares these cookies. they fucking eat the whole thing by themselves because its there. fucking gigantic cookies. fuck.

(via sleeplessfanatic)

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

(via sleeplessfanatic)

(Source: imgfave, via sleeplessfanatic)

actualcannibalfeferipeixes:

mATH HOMEWORK???

THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS

(Source: tittifers, via sleeplessfanatic)

wiki-the-avatartimelord:

HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK ASHAMED

HE’S JUST LIKE
YEA, THAT’S ME, I DO THAT

(Source: dogshame, via sleeplessfanatic)

digitalmovie:

this is me about 98 percent of the time.

(via sleeplessfanatic)

cramp:

loathingbitch:

cramp:

i like to live life on the edge

maybe you should jump

image

(via sleeplessfanatic)

  • Cute boy in class: can I have a piece of paper?
  • Me: sure *hands him a marriage certificate*