armin-swaglert:

SOMEONE FUCKING MADE A SAND SCULPTURE OF THE CREEPY HAPPY MEAL

(via fake-mermaid)

andrewpauldost:

i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be

(via fake-mermaid)

internetexplorers:

“you’re like a son to me”

“dad, i am your son”

(via fake-mermaid)

(Source: isaaclaheyz, via cumfort)

hipster-trichster:

marina-peixes:

svvords:

Why are shorts called shorts but pants arent called longs

she wears short shorts I wear long longs

she’s cheer cheerer and i’m on the sit sits

(Source: wasiangod, via eunwalrus)

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in your vagina

w-y-s-f:

rudeboyjoel:

w-y-s-f:

rudeboyjoel:

whatyouseefit:

rudeboyjoel:

I’M A THOUSAND MILES AWAY, BUT GIRL I’D LIKE TO GET INSIDE YA

YES I DO

NO GURL CAN FUCK AS WELL AS YOU

I SWEAR IT’S TRUE. HEY THERE DELILAH, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT PROTECTION. I’M EVEN HARDER WHEN YOU’RE LONELY, TAKE A LOOK AT MY ERECTION

CLOSE YOUR EYES

I WANNA GET BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS

'TIL I'M INSIDE

OOOH I WISH YOU WOULD DO MEE

WISH YOU WOULD SCREW ME

(via eunwalrus)

rincentric:

gilbertbielschmidt:

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

(via eunwalrus)

joshpeck:

when your friend karen suggests that you go to taco bell when you can’t go to taco bell because you’re on an all carb diet

image

(via eunwalrus)

dicksplit:

"I’m full, do you want my dessert"

image

(via raindropscoffeecups)

skylarduquette:

"no" is too serious

"nope" is too casual

"nah" is just right

"Did you kill this man?" "Nah"

(Source: bound2014, via eunwalrus)

tiredboyclub:

the nodding then the wink 

(Source: thepetcollective, via raindropscoffeecups)

untexting:

it’s so sad when you crave someone you can’t have

(via raindropscoffeecups)

cocaineshorty:

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

oh my god

(via eunwalrus)